WET Is All Dried Up

Dear Gameinformer,

As an avid reader of your magazine and website I find myself pondering a question that simply must be answered: what kind of wonderful new drug did you discover and indulge in that would compel you to give WET a 7.5?

When I played the demo for this game I was skeptical: the controls seemed pretty wonky and the gunplay unsatisfying but I still thought the game had style and a great soundtrack. I told myself that if Gameinformer rated the game a 7 or above I would check it out. I told myself this because I am almost always in perfect agreement with this particular company.

So yesterday around 7 PM I rented the game. This afternoon around 3 PM I took it back. I was right in the middle of a mission – not close to a savepoint, not in the middle of a boss fight – just a regular ol’ mission and I just could not take this game anymore.

If any of you reading this have played the demo then imagine playing that same exact mechanic over and over and over and over again. That’s WET. You run around, jump like a moron, and eventually end up in a room where you slowly kill several dozen people and close their spawn doors. Oh, and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. a dude with a minigun shows up and you have to shoot repeatedly at him before he starts limping away, triggering you to get close to perform a quicktime kill. You better be quick too because before very long he’s magically all better.

Practically everything I enjoyed about the demo was torn apart in this game via endless repetition (redundant?). The one song on the demo that really caught my attention – something about zombie killers of the wild west – was no where to be found. Granted, I didn’t finish this game but I did make it more than halfway through before I threw in the towel and at around 4 hours in that itself should say something.

Before I quit when I did I damn near shut the thing off within the first hour of playing it. At the conclusion of an early chapter you find yourself at Rubi’s hideaway with a new weapon and an obstacle course meant to train you in using this new weapon. I’m like, “Meh, no thanks” so I look for a door or an option to exit and continue with the main story and I can’t.

The game forces you to run through a fucking irritating as shit obstacle course every single fucking time you get a new weapon.

There are so many things wrong with the game that the few things it does right doesn’t even come close to negating it. Not only would I certainly not recommend spending your 50 bucks on it but I wouldn’t even recommend it for a weekend rental. Instead, I suggest you partake in more that aforementioned wondrous new drug, Gameinformer.

And send some of that shit my way.

Sincerely,

Cary