Once Upon a Time

I know you’ve probably heard by now.

Honestly, I’m surprised that it took my roommate telling me for me to find out: a writer from Gizmodo went on a blind date with someone she met on OkCupid who turned out to be Jon Finkel, current world champion of Magic: The Gathering. As it happens, Ms Gizmodo wasn’t too impressed by that. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

She’s rather annoyed. Seems “just like you’re obligated to mention you’re divorced or have a kid in your online profile” (are you?) someone should also be required to disclose any geeky world championship titles. Just like that, Jon had gone from being a charming, handsome professional to a geek. Just a geek. And that’s a bad thing, you know.

She then advises people to Google the hell out of their next on-line date.

Who would have thought that such a thing, posted on a technology blog, wouldn’t have gone over well.

We’ll ignore the was-it-right-for-her-to-call-him-out-by-name question and jump right to the next: should one disclose their geeky interests outright? Is it something to be ashamed of? Are you your hobby?

Here’s a confession: I’m single and I’m a geek. Furthermore, I’ve used on-line dating sites and on those sites I've made it pretty damn clear what my idea of a fun Friday night in entails. To me, since gaming is a big part of my life I feel that it is indeed fair to put that out in the open but this article got me thinking - if I were a man, would I be so transparent? Because women are still considered a minority within the gaming community I have found that letting my geek flag fly hasn’t really been a hindrance. At least, not when you consider the type of men I'm attracted to.

Men, on the other hand, still live with the stigma of “gamer”. It’s that image of the pale, overweight man sitting alone in his parents' basement playing World of Warcraft or the table full of nerds playing Magic drinking Mountain Dew and eating Cheetos. That’s an image that male gamers have been fighting for ages and it seems to be the one stereotype that has worked in favor of female gamers.

That certainly doesn’t make this any less of a shitty situation for Mr. Finkel and other gamers who find their dates running to the door when they find out they’d rather spend the evening at home with a game than at a bar.

That being said, should you read this Jon, I think you’re pretty badass.

Too Busy Gaming To Game?

It’s been quiet around here lately.

I’m not really sure what’s been going on, whether it’s starting a new job and attempting to have more of a social life or a lack of games that have really been compelling me to dedicate more than a few hours to them, I just haven’t really been in the mood to play lately.

Which is why this article on why most players don’t finish games is rather perfectly timed.

Turns out, I’m not the only gamer who feels this way. In fact, it would appear that upwards of 90% of players who start a game never see the end of it. Considering how long some games are I suppose that’s not really a surprise but what I did find a little shocking is that it’s not always the quality of the title that stops people from playing. For example, “Red Dead Redemption” which was named “Game of the Year” by dozens of reviewers (including myself) only had about 10% of the people who started it complete the final mission.

The article goes on to list three main as to why gamers are having a tough time getting the digital credits to roll: other electronic distractions, a plethora of games to choose from, and a desire for more multiplayer.

The first two really stood out to me. For example, I remember playing Fallout: New Vegas and while the game would be loading I would be on my phone checking Facebook or Twitter; it was like I couldn’t not be actively doing something. Hell, as I type this I’ve got the Netflix streaming in the background. It’s as if we’ve gotten so accustomed to multitasking that we don’t know how to just focus on one thing anymore.

The second point I also found to be true (which is somewhat ironic considering I haven’t played a console game in a while) but it reminded me of how “Red Dead Redemption” and “Alan Wake” were released on the same day and how in the next few months Dead Island, Skyrim, and Arkham City are all coming out. Not to mention Tomb Raider, Silent Hill: Downpour, and Bioshock: Infinite will follow next year. With so many games to choose from, how can we possibly find time (not to mention money) for all of them?

Finally, there’s the issue of multiplayer and while at first I disregarded it since I’m generally a single-player gal I soon remembered that the last time I played a game it was a round of Left 4 Dead 2 with a friend and before that it was a replay of Resident Evil 5, again with a friend.

So what do you all think? Do you have a hard time finishing games? If so, why? Did this article ring true or are they missing the mark?

Someone Needs a Structurally Superfluous New Behind

Super impressive Team Fortress 2 live-action skit is super impressive!

It won't come to that

You guys all know I'm the first person on-board when I hear the word "Bioshock." I've been following the growth of Bioshock: Infinite very closely -- reading articles (one of which sparked a post by Cary) and watching gameplay as it releases. I have to be honest and say that I was obviously concerned when I heard about Bioshock: Infinite and the idea that it would be focused on using the Bioshock engine with a completely new story; the story of Bioshock changed the way video games are seen and understood. Almost immediately my worries were squashed and now with the E3 demo finally released in its entirety, I'm gonna be soooo annoying on this blog until this game hits shelves in 2012.



How you feelin', guys?

Knock It Off, Leonard.

Who's ready for another video game movie adaptation pointlessly made in 3D?

The trailer for the upcoming Silent Hill: Revelation was recently released and it's pretty much exactly what you would expect. That being, not much:

A woman alone. Isolation. Quick cuts of implied creepiness.

Pretty standard horror movie fare.

To be fair though, I found the original Silent Hill movie enjoyable enough. Yeah, the plot was ridiculous and key elements of the games were changed for reasons I'll never know but if you turned your brain off and just watched it, the movie actually did a great job at bringing the world of Silent Hill to the big screen.

This new movie also seems to be trying to stay somewhat loyal to the series. In this trailer alone I saw more than a few direct references to Silent Hill 3 and 4 - including the use of the exact same audio clip of the man singing Happy Birthday. But despite that, I find myself more than relieved that this isn't a direct adaptation of Silent Hill 2 (which still remains my all-time favorite game) as was originally assumed.

Funny. Does anyone ever get excited when news comes out that a book or game they love is making the leap to the big screen or are we all just too jaded?

EDIT: So apparently the trailer is a fake. Funny that I'm not sure if I'm that disappointed or not. Either way, well done fan base.

This Dead Horse is Starting to Smell

Since Duke Nukem Forever was released I’ve found myself doing a bit of thinking on it. I downloaded the demo, played it through, read some on-line reviews to get snippets of what I was missing by forgoing playing the entire game and at the end of it all I came to a conclusion that somewhat surprised me.

I don’t think the game is offensive. At least, not in the way you’d probably expect.

In the sense that it looks terrible, controls poorly and seems shockingly unpolished for a title that’s been in development for 12 years then hell yeah, Duke Nukem Forever is an offensive game. But in terms of its flat-out portrayal of women, I remain unconvinced. At least, in the more traditional sense.

Hear me out.

Duke Nukem Forever seems just as distasteful in its treatment of men as it does for women. In the moments I spent with Duke in the demo I watched him kick a field goal with an alien’s eyeball, piss in a urinal while making references to his penis size, and sat back while two women performed fellatio on him.

Sports. Penis. Sex.

Kinda sounds like a typical “all American” male prototype doesn’t it?

Just as the women in this game are reduced to their most stereotypical elements, Duke himself is nothing more than walking, talking testosterone. But I’ve discussed this here before. The question remains then, what’s the problem? If both genders are equally lampooned, why all the fuss?

Because the male typecast revolves around power, strength, and dominance while the female stereotype equates femininity with helplessness, weakness, and submission we aren’t as rattled when we come across a character like Duke. After all, ridiculous though he is, at the end of the day he’s still a red-blooded American man. Duke isn’t punished for his masculinity; where he gets to save the day, the women in the game are terrorized. This is why it's different.

Probably the most infamous are the alien rape scenes. Women in the game are abducted, forcibility impregnated, and then die “giving birth” (all the while moaning in pain) should Duke choose not to execute them himself.

But doesn’t that sound an awful lot like the Alien franchise? And I would dare anyone to call that series sexist.

And so, my friends, I think I’ve pinpointed exactly what it is about Duke Nukem Forever that’s pissing so many people off, myself included: it’s not funny.

Yeah, it’s not funny.

This game is obviously meant as a satire but in the hands of poor writing it comes off as heartless and cold.

Remember that scene from Seinfeld when Jerry’s dentist converts to Judaism so he can make Jewish jokes? Jerry, upset, goes to a Catholic confessional to vent. The priest concludes that Jerry is offended as a Jewish man but he responds that no, he’s offended as a comedian.

When jokes fail it’s never good but when we attempt to make light of serious issues and fail, it’s ten times worse. Duke Nukem Forever attempts to make fun of issues like rape and fails miserably.

Then again, I’ve never heard a joke about rape that’s made me laugh.

Long story short, this game is offensive for a plethora of reasons. It's immature, badly designed, and humorless. It's a bad game, folks. Does it piss me off? Yeah. Should it? Probably. But it's not like it's being hailed as game of the year:

Not That Kind of Croft

Anyone alive out there?

It’s been a crazy month in terms of personal lives and whatnot so allow me to quell your fears of this blog fading into the void of the interwebz.

So what’s been happening? What’s been going on?

Oh! E3!

Right, that little thing.

I must confess that I actually didn’t pay too much attention while everything was going on. With Twitter getting flooded with updates I went into a sort of media blackout with the entire event and am only just now starting to seek out information I’m interested in. That being said, holy shit guys – I’m excited for the new Tomb Raider:

Honestly, I’ve been excited for this reboot since the new Lara was revealed but this trailer just blew my mind. As Nicole Tanner wrote in her recent article entitled “Female Characters Get Real”, past iterations of Lara were portrayed as utterly fearless, hardened, snarky heroines. While that may be a break from the norm, it’s not real. This Lara is scared, unsure, and knows when she needs help. She cries out in pain when bandaging her wounds – the old Lara would never have done that. Yet, despite that, I dare you to watch that trailer and tell me what you see isn’t a strong character. I absolutely cannot wait to play this game. I think this new Lara is going to make a terrific example how women in games can be strong and beautiful and still be real. Somewhat ironic when you consider Ms. Croft’s history, huh?

May I also point out before I move on that I find it delightful that while buzz is being created about this new perception of women in games, Duke Nukem Forever has finally been released and is tanking? I know, cheap shot. Sue me. Actually, maybe I shouldn’t say that. Jim Redner might hear.

The only other bit of news from E3 that really got a reaction from me (other than making fire engine noises in regard to Nintendo’s new console) was the trailer for Silent Hill: Downpour:

I’m not thrilled. Yeah, sure, the trailer itself doesn’t really look too bad until you get to the end and you go, “wait, this is Silent Hill?”. There is nothing in this trailer that reminds me of the games I love from this series. Maybe it will surprise me, but after Homecoming and Shattered Memories I’m probably just going to wait and see what the reviews say before and if I pick it up. I truly, truly hope I’m wrong and the game ends up being amazing but I’m not holding my breath.

And anyway, I’ve got Tomb Raider to look forward to.