Saturday, July 9, 2011
It won't come to that
How you feelin', guys?
Monday, July 4, 2011
Knock It Off, Leonard.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
This Dead Horse is Starting to Smell
I don’t think the game is offensive. At least, not in the way you’d probably expect.
In the sense that it looks terrible, controls poorly and seems shockingly unpolished for a title that’s been in development for 12 years then hell yeah, Duke Nukem Forever is an offensive game. But in terms of its flat-out portrayal of women, I remain unconvinced. At least, in the more traditional sense.
Hear me out.
Duke Nukem Forever seems just as distasteful in its treatment of men as it does for women. In the moments I spent with Duke in the demo I watched him kick a field goal with an alien’s eyeball, piss in a urinal while making references to his penis size, and sat back while two women performed fellatio on him.
Sports. Penis. Sex.
Kinda sounds like a typical “all American” male prototype doesn’t it?
Just as the women in this game are reduced to their most stereotypical elements, Duke himself is nothing more than walking, talking testosterone. But I’ve discussed this here before. The question remains then, what’s the problem? If both genders are equally lampooned, why all the fuss?
Because the male typecast revolves around power, strength, and dominance while the female stereotype equates femininity with helplessness, weakness, and submission we aren’t as rattled when we come across a character like Duke. After all, ridiculous though he is, at the end of the day he’s still a red-blooded American man. Duke isn’t punished for his masculinity; where he gets to save the day, the women in the game are terrorized. This is why it's different.
Probably the most infamous are the alien rape scenes. Women in the game are abducted, forcibility impregnated, and then die “giving birth” (all the while moaning in pain) should Duke choose not to execute them himself.
But doesn’t that sound an awful lot like the Alien franchise? And I would dare anyone to call that series sexist.
And so, my friends, I think I’ve pinpointed exactly what it is about Duke Nukem Forever that’s pissing so many people off, myself included: it’s not funny.
Yeah, it’s not funny.
This game is obviously meant as a satire but in the hands of poor writing it comes off as heartless and cold.
Remember that scene from Seinfeld when Jerry’s dentist converts to Judaism so he can make Jewish jokes? Jerry, upset, goes to a Catholic confessional to vent. The priest concludes that Jerry is offended as a Jewish man but he responds that no, he’s offended as a comedian.
When jokes fail it’s never good but when we attempt to make light of serious issues and fail, it’s ten times worse. Duke Nukem Forever attempts to make fun of issues like rape and fails miserably.
Then again, I’ve never heard a joke about rape that’s made me laugh.
Long story short, this game is offensive for a plethora of reasons. It's immature, badly designed, and humorless. It's a bad game, folks. Does it piss me off? Yeah. Should it? Probably. But it's not like it's being hailed as game of the year:
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Not That Kind of Croft
It’s been a crazy month in terms of personal lives and whatnot so allow me to quell your fears of this blog fading into the void of the interwebz.
So what’s been happening? What’s been going on?
Oh! E3!
Right, that little thing.
I must confess that I actually didn’t pay too much attention while everything was going on. With Twitter getting flooded with updates I went into a sort of media blackout with the entire event and am only just now starting to seek out information I’m interested in. That being said, holy shit guys – I’m excited for the new Tomb Raider:
Honestly, I’ve been excited for this reboot since the new Lara was revealed but this trailer just blew my mind. As Nicole Tanner wrote in her recent article entitled “Female Characters Get Real”, past iterations of Lara were portrayed as utterly fearless, hardened, snarky heroines. While that may be a break from the norm, it’s not real. This Lara is scared, unsure, and knows when she needs help. She cries out in pain when bandaging her wounds – the old Lara would never have done that. Yet, despite that, I dare you to watch that trailer and tell me what you see isn’t a strong character. I absolutely cannot wait to play this game. I think this new Lara is going to make a terrific example how women in games can be strong and beautiful and still be real. Somewhat ironic when you consider Ms. Croft’s history, huh?

The only other bit of news from E3 that really got a reaction from me (other than making fire engine noises in regard to Nintendo’s new console) was the trailer for Silent Hill: Downpour:
I’m not thrilled. Yeah, sure, the trailer itself doesn’t really look too bad until you get to the end and you go, “wait, this is Silent Hill?”. There is nothing in this trailer that reminds me of the games I love from this series. Maybe it will surprise me, but after Homecoming and Shattered Memories I’m probably just going to wait and see what the reviews say before and if I pick it up. I truly, truly hope I’m wrong and the game ends up being amazing but I’m not holding my breath.
And anyway, I’ve got Tomb Raider to look forward to.

Sunday, May 29, 2011
This Isn't New York

At PAX this year, Lynsey and I were treated to a 30-minute demo of the game, which certainly piqued my interest but still left the aforementioned question unanswered.
Having finished “LA Noire” last night I now know: yeah, I really can spend 20-something hours investigating crimes scenes and not get bored.
As detective Cole Phelps I began my career as a lowly street cop only to work my way up the food chain of the LAPD from traffic to homicide to vice and then finally arson. And yes, arson is the last division you’re assigned to thanks to some surprising plot twists. Then again, this is Rockstar isn’t it? Plot twists are what it’s all about.
As Phelps you spend your time driving from case to case – occasionally stopping to assist in 1 of 40 street crimes that randomly pop up – and trying to piece together what exactly happened and who you need to haul downtown to answer for the nefarious misdeeds. As you wander through a crime scene, your controller vibrates to let you know a clue is nearby. Well, sometimes it tells you nothing: Phelps often picks up items that turn out to be worthless but are still able to be fully examined. Let me tell you, I think the guy has a fetish for hairbrushes.
Following the crime scene investigates, you move on to the interrogation of suspects and this is where “L.A. Noire” really shines. Using an elaborate network of 32 cameras, the developers flawlessly recorded the actor’s faces as they spoke their lines. This may seem excessive to any outsider but when a large portion of your success in the game depends on your ability to read people’s expressions (are they not meeting your eyes? Is their mouth twitching? Are they blinking too much?) this is crucial and Rockstar pulled it off beautifully. Take a look at this video to get an idea of the effort that went into this technology and how marvelous it truly looks:
That being said though, the facial animations really are the star of the show here. Yes, the story is engaging but truthfully once you’ve played one Rockstar I feel as though you’ve played them all in some respect. I went into this game knowing that at some point I would be betrayed and that my character or someone I was close to wouldn’t make it to the end credits. I’m certainly not going to go into details on that here but let’s just say I wasn’t surprised by the game’s twists and ultimate conclusion.
I will say it again however, this predictability doesn’t make the story any less fun.
The other staples of the mechanics work wonderfully as well: the music, the background noises, shooting and cover systems, they all come together nicely with the exception of the repetition of the conversations NPCs would have around you. It wasn’t long before I found myself memorizing lines like “if olive oil comes from olives . . . where does baby oil come from?”.
This lack of variety did play a role in my disappoint with the overall level of interaction with the open world of this game. Yes, it looks beautiful but really, there just isn’t much to do in the streets of Los Angeles. I never felt the urge to explore like I did in “Red Dead Redemption” but I suppose it’s not really fair to compare the two and I will say that while Red Dead only had a handful of “random” encounters that were recycled in different areas of the world, all 40 of the street crimes in L.A. Noire are wholly unique.
That’s impressive.
Impressive. That’s really a good word all around for this game. It lived up perfectly to my expectations, neither falling below or above them. L.A. Noire is a fantastic game and is everything I’ve come to expect from Rockstar. In fact, I’m planning on starting another playthrough as soon as I finish this review. There has already been talk of a sequel and I can earnestly say I’d love to see more of this world, perhaps within a game where it’s a little easier to get yourself happily lost outside the main quest.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
And She'll Scream, and She'll Shout, and She'll Pray
Kotaku recently published an article concerning the nature of the relationship between Elizabeth, a woman from the highly anticipated (read OMFG IS IT HERE YET?!) Bioshock: Infinite and Songbird, her mechanical captor. When she first appeared in the teaser trailer Elizabeth was shown as nothing more than a beautiful face, trapped high in a tower, being held against her will by something lurking and monstrous. She seemed to be a very real princess trapped in a very real tower waiting on a man to come to her rescue.
Needless to say, I wasn’t terribly impressed with her.
Then the 10-minute demo footage was released. Here, I saw this woman in the midst of the fight, more than holding her own. She didn’t seem to need any help or protection which in addition to giving her more of a unique personality put my fears of escort missions aside.

In the article, Kevin Levine describes how Elizabeth pleads to the protagonist – you – not to let Songbird take her back, implying she’d rather die than fall back into his mechanical hands. Yet, when the synthetic beast catches up with her she tearfully apologizes for running away and asks it to take her back home.
She is strong and clearly capable but still frightened, made weak by her fear and inability to keep the hopelessness of her situation out of her mind. She resigns herself back into captivity to save your life, as abused women often do for the sake of their children.
I find it brave of Irrational Games to explore this type of relationship. I truly do.
Elizabeth seems damaged, trapped, strong, intelligent, and real.
I can’t wait to get to know her better and find out how her story ends.

