Here's to you, William.

So I could talk about the level design, the music, the fallen survivors, the golf club of WIN, the M60, the new midnight riders song, the zombie wedding, the footlockers, the weekly mutations or all the other things that make "The Passing" fun as hell, but I'd rather just show you a montage of the best reasons:

Francis hates haters.

It's kind of a shame; they could have had the world's most hate-filled children.

We Gotta Get Tougher Friends

Valve makes amazing games. This is true. They also generally have a hard time nailing down a time frame for the releases of said games. This is also true.

They also have quite a sense of humor.

As Left 4 Dead 2's "The Passing" is finally confirmed to be released this Thursday, I am eager to see exactly which one of the original survivors won't be making an appearance. We've known for awhile now that either Francis, Bill, Louis, or Zoey will be off fighting zombies in the Great Beyond and that an upcoming Left 4 Dead DLC will allow the player to choose which one of them sacrifices themselves for the greater good (the greater good) but that there will be a canon death detailed in both, "The Passing" and an upcoming comic book.

Though I'm relatively certain I know which survivor it will be, I would just like to point out the following collection of official posters for "The Passing". Click and look closely at the silhouettes in the background:

Yeah, Valve's got a sense of humor.

I hate waiting.

Is the world really ready for this much awesome? We'll find out next week.

They Remember

With an agonizing slowness the elevator works its way up and up before gently coming to a halt. Just as I’m about to step off, I see the tiny necromorph scamper down the hall.

“Pfft, do you think I’m stupid?”

Raising my plasma cutter, I navigate Isaac Clarke with deliberate precision down the narrow ramp waiting for the tiny monster I’m hunting to lash out at me when its comrade suddenly bursts through a panel of glass to my immediate right and rushes me.

Despite my wishes to cooly say, “clever girl” I’m instead screaming, “JESUS-FUCKING-CHRIST” at the top of my lungs while rushing for a corner before lurching around to face the demon that had (perhaps literally) scared the pee out of me.

Suffice to say, “Dead Space” is a horrifying game but it is not the most horrifying I’ve ever played. That honor is reserved for Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly. While I will never, ever again pick up that romp through Hell I have recently embarked on another ill-fated journey through the USG Ishimura. Even though this time around I knew what to expect – to the point where I felt more comfortable exploring areas I hadn’t on my first play through – I felt my pulse quicken as I approached one of many accessible bathrooms onboard the doomed planet cracker.

Yup, a bathroom.

It’s the same with every video game I play. I hate going into bathrooms. Now, while I’m relatively sure this fear developed as a result of the unseen enemy that shrieked at me when I attempted to leave one in Silent Hill 2 (the first horror game I ever played) I’d like to believe it’s something deeper than that. Perhaps it’s knowing I’m enclosed in a small space with only one way in and out. Maybe it’s not knowing what craziness could be in the stall next to me. Maybe I’m terrified of poop, I don’t know. All I know is that I am terrified of bathrooms in video games.

So I’m curious . . . what scares you the most in horror games? Did a necromorph suddenly leaping from a vent scare you more in Dead Space than the unseen woman singing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”? Was the infamous Oven Man in Resident Evil 4 harder for you to deal with than the first time you encountered the chanting at the castle? Is the scraping of Pyramid Head’s knife more frightening than actually seeing him?

What makes your digital blood run cold?